| Kin |
[Dec. 16th, 2008|04:55 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Melbourne | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
Occasionally you meet people you didn't expect to find. People who change your views. Who show you how beautiful you are - something you might not always wanna see.
Im sorry I made you hurt, I'm sorry I made you think I would run away from you - I promise I wont run away from you, and I wont run away from me.
I'm glad you are part of my family Kin,
-your brother |
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| The boyfriend checklist |
[Dec. 15th, 2008|06:52 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Melbourne | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
[ ] ... over the age of 24 (sorry, 30 is the upper limit too)
[ ] ... must be out of home (for god sake! you're a big boy now)
[ ] ... must have a stable job (dont mind what you do - just that you work for your money)
[ ] ... must believe in honesty as the fundamental building block of every relationship (the only reason to lie is cause you're afraid of the consequences...)
[ ] ... must accept responsibility for actions (no one is perfect, but forgiveness is only half of the solution)
[ ] ... must be out to his friends, and family (family is a hard one, i know, but you are who you are - be proud)
[ ] ... must be proud of me......
[ ] ... must look after his body - that means appreciating healthy body goes with healthy mind (team sports extra points!)
[ ] ... must be driven - stubborn even :) enjoys a challenge and works hard. (prove them all wrong I say! :)
[ ] ... must know what love is (its not walking around with a boner, its curling up with someone all night and knowing that is better than anything else)
[ ] ... must be open to the idea of kids (yes, I'll be mum - :p ass - but , would you be dad?)
[ ] ... personal hygiene prerequisite (yes , i like sweaty guys, but you need to SHOWER)
[ ] ... not a smoker (now, a bit of weed is ok - but tobacco, no thanks - i may love you but it smells awful :/ )
[ ] ... must believe that friends are not people to fuck or sleep in the same bed with (hey, would you expect your mum to sleep with a guy friend when your dad was outa town - I love my friends, but that is not anything to do with sex or boyfriend replacement)
[ ] ... be excited about the future, want to try new things, not afraid to speak ones mind
[ ] ... must believe I'm just me - I'll do my best to listen and understand, ill never chase you off
[ ] ... happy to hang out for a few beers, go to a sports match, or the theatre - ie, not a "bloke"
[ ] ... be excited to try new things - food, drink, experiances, countries, languages, you name it
[ ] ... be able to look into the sky, see the beautiful clouds, and know life is good - not a hyperactive, must always be doing something person - can you relax in the hammock on a beach with me?
[ ] ... the scary one, I think, you must understand what it means to be furry - i have never been proud of being a fur - but , i realise i am one.. guess i best toughen up :)
Yeah - i may be picky - but - really, I know guys who match a lot of these do exist. Apply within? :P
And no - this isn't some kinda desperate dating thing - it is just something me and a friend were talking about, and i wanted to save for prosperity :P I'll be sure to post evaluations as the new boys come - I'm pretty sure we wont hit 100% ;)
-tiger |
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| Nice and Antwerpen |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|07:29 pm] |
So we meander and search for answers...
Spent the weekend in Nice, France - stayed with a good friend and his family - wonderful children, Luca and Emma, and thank you Marita for the kind words. Today I sit in Antwerp, looking out across the city square and thinking a great deal about what I have become. The last year has been a dark one, but that stubborn and driven person has once again come to the surface. I'm looking forward to taking on the world again, and proving to it that I can beat it again ;)
For now, I'm becoming the person I want to be again - doing the things I want to do - the future is bright.
-tigerkin |
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| Poland |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|07:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Right, it must be the earliest I've been up in ages! Got up at 5.30am :P
Currently in Warsaw - where its cold and windy outside. Last full day here before heading home (thank god).
The first day here I was thinking that it was a time-waste, but since then I have made some invaluable relationships with colleagues and other persons in the industry which will surely become useful if I ever need a new job :D
Things here are quiet - and sure as hell I'm missing being home with Pup n Kit. The Pup went off to see the Adelaide wuff over the weekend which was great for him :) Crazy fun times are pretty good substitutes for no Me in the house !
So, things here are pretty okay - meetings every day and lots of thinking and good ideas - its a pity I cannot seem to keep awake (the jetlag must be getting to me) to stay out and about much later than 11pm, but its no big deal - going out and getting drunk with a bunch of nerds is only so much fun :D
Tomorrow I'll start the long trip home which is my own damn fault :P London, Hong Kong, Taipei, Brisbane and then finally home to Melbourne. A good 40 hours of travel........
So looking forward to getting home on Saturday, but not so looking forward to the next departure (only three days after I get back) - I need to go to Hong Kong for a couple of meetings, but thankfully it will be short (just two nights away). I'm trying to steal the Pup away from work the Tuesday after (though given the recent staffing issues, im not sure its realistic) to go with me to Tokyo for the weekend - I want to show him the shrines and see if I can't ignite a travel-bug in him :D
What else, oh - AJ my flatmate is moving out , he has finally got a job in Singapore so now it's just a case of him moving the stuff outa the old room. Pup n I are planning to head off in September so I'm trying to think about a suitable person to look after the ratbag - my old flatmate Rob may be looking for a place - but we will see. Having the house to yourself has its advantages :P namely running around buck naked :D
Anyway - time to put on some clothes and go and get waffles as instructed by the puppy :)
Spot you all around soon
-tig |
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| Sheraton Taipei |
[Feb. 23rd, 2008|07:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | impressed | ] |
Okay,
This is a plug - cause I have just found the best hotel ever.
The Sheraton Taipei is amazing...
Picked me up at the airport, greeted me at the door of the hotel by name and took me straight to my room - bought my bags up without trouble.
The room has everything - silly little things that other hotels skimp on, like:
- an umbrella in the room !! (its raining)
- toothbrush and paste (those damn rules about travel with "gels"!)
- shaving cream and razor (see above!)
- A stationary set - no, not a pen and paper, pencil, eraser, ruler, stapler, postits, paper clips, white out!
- free water
- fresh fruit
- and, neat adapting power sockets everywhere!! so my plugs dont need adapters
Now, I admit Im on the exec floor - but the butler is fantastic, i get free laundry and I dont have to do my own ironing!
So - if youre in Taipei - this is the hotel
Oh - and like most of asia, the best thing ever - heated toilet seats with bidet!
Ok - I'm a fruitcake
-tig |
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| Melbourne Airport |
[Feb. 23rd, 2008|06:33 am] |
Wow, holy fuck - it's been about two years since I updated this thing, so I thought "what the heck"!
I'm just sitting in Melbourne airport waiting for a flight to Brisbane on the way to Taipei. I'm presenting in Taipei for the next week about all kinda wacky tech things, then jetting off to Warsaw, and then back via Beijing, before finally getting home.
It's going to be another long two weeks on the road - something I don't really like at all as it takes so much out of the year. After all, there are only 52 week, so its a bit of a chunk!
Oh , I got a year older :P woo - i think- greymuzzle!
At the moment I'm stressing about this presentation I have to give on Monday. It is supposed to be three hours long! Ugh. I have 90 powerpoint slides at the moment - and its Saturday , and I'm not finished ;) Woops :p thats me tiger and procrastinating! Oh well, serves me right. But, it's going to be a fun week. It's my first time in Taiwan and my current flatmate, my ex-flatmate, and a pile of other friends are going to meet me there - so can we say PARTY IN TAIPEI!
Pup is going good :) shit, things have been weird over the last two years. But it's all fantastic at the mo :) Missing him already, but lil Rarble is in my bag going for a ride to look after me, and get into plenty of trouble.
What else - hmm-- way too much to put in one post. Perhaps each stop along the way I'll actually update this thing, and give a bit of a rundown of the last two years for my own benefit. So yeah, :p
So, its 6.40am on Saturday at the airport and im sleepy... meow meow
Woo - there is my boarding call ;)
See you later!
Luff |
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| What is the plan, Stan? |
[Apr. 16th, 2006|03:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
Right,
I'm going to be purposefully vague on a few things :)
The big one is that I took the job in Melbourne, I've been there on and off now for the last couple of weeks - transfers within a company have one disadvatage: there is no grace period!
Time for another lil bit of growing up I suspect, gotta play the politics game a little smarter when I am over there and see how I end up. While I've told myself I don't want a part in it, the truth is that I now look at it as a bit of a challenge. It really is big fish/little fish moving over there, things move very quickly, I have an apartment in Melbourne already and I havn't yet signed the contract :)
THings are going to be interesting on a personal level, suffice to say that I'm shit scared about a lot of things, but hey... we all gotta do scarey things that we think are right for us, see how they work out, and talk about em lots to those people we trust. I feel that I am kinda defaulting on this Melbourne thin, but the truth is that I've been looking at it for over a year!!! so it really shouldn't come as any suprise.
So yeah :)... it's okay to be a lil scared, but the other parts are looking forward to the new challenges n people :)
-tig |
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| A Green Tiger? |
[Mar. 24th, 2006|09:55 pm] |
Okay,
Net posted in a long time - bad me :) Not going to probably fix this, but some things are worth sharing.
If you don't know, I'm a bit of a greenie - not the whole no TV, eat organics kinda one, but someone who wants to be educated so that decisions I make are generally good. It is all about sustainability :)
So, here are some tips - source is Ceres (www.ceres.org)
By the way, US focus.. but stuff to take away from it anyway! Its limited, but it helps! :)
2 good and 2 bad per sector!
Chemical:
Good :) DuPont , Bayer
Bad >:| PPG , Monsanto
Auto:
Good :) Toyota , Honda
Bad >:| Nissan , BMW
Industrial:
Good :) GE , ABB
Bad >:| Deere , Caterpillar
Oil & Gas:
Good :) BP , Royal Dutch/Shell
Bad >:| - here they are all US companies, but note ExxonMobil was well down on the list, Caltex/ChevronTexaco are better than ExxonMobil, but well below BP and Royal Dutch/Shell who clean this sector up!
-tig |
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| Fathers |
[Dec. 8th, 2005|06:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | weird | ] |
Well, called up my Dad this afternoon. He is in Sydney too. Will go and see him on the weekend by the sound of things. He acts real wierd on the phone- it is like talked to an ex or something, where there is no pause to conversation and a lot of agreement but ultimatly it feels like you are rushing to get off the phone. Oh well.
Talked to his wife too... I don't think she likes me (or any of us for that matter) very much. But, no use having a go at her - she hasn't done anything to me!
Today was a mess, everyone is away and so I have been sitting here trying to get things going, but struggling as I don't have the information I need - complicate this by the fact everything is trying to be steered away from the original idea into the world of fantasy and impracticle, but hey.. I'm running the workshop so they can just kiss my tail :).. I did get a definate nod for a job here in Sydney - and on Saturday (!!!!) I am going to Melbourne to meet up with the CTO for Asia. They apparently work the weekend at the moment which is a bit of a worry - but i hope the day will be a little more relaxed which will allow me to catch up with him. I'm there all day so hopefully I won't just have a 30 minute meeting. Perhaps they will put me to work!? Who knows.
So, I guess I am reflecting on my dad. I remember wanting to be like him as a kid, to be a pilot and fly all around the world. Then, when he broke up with my mum, I vowed I would never be a pilot - I would not let stupid hours and long periods away from home ruin any relationship I had.
And now I look at him - the same man who got remarried and didn't tell his kids, who has told me before that he has "made his bed and now must sleep in it", seem unable to accept that his kids still sometimes think about him. And perhaps even a miss him. We never talk... I mean, I have not hidden the fact that I have had boyfriends, but he never makes mention - I don't know if he is ignoring it, or more likely, has no clue how to deal with it even if he wanted to.
He said I should stay the night with him on Sunday night because his wife is back in NZ at her home (which she lives at half the year!?!).. so perhaps a catchup will happen. Perhaps we need some weed or something so we both loosen up!?
-tiggs |
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| Sydney |
[Dec. 7th, 2005|04:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hot | ] |
It is 40 degrees C outside here... wow... feels like Mississippi.
Looks like I will be off to Melbourne on either Friday or Saturday to meet the big boss. The offer of Saturday is a wierd one. The plan for tonight is to get to the hotel and chill out. Tired me. My Pup is missed heaps, as is Ashkit.
-tiggs |
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| Dinner |
[Dec. 4th, 2005|08:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
Three days until I'm off to Sydney for a lil over a week - so I cooked something nice up. Lime chicken with Mango salsa - wasn't too bad, and there is enough for tomorrow nights dinner too.
Some wonderful lemon yogurt for desert, a lil chardonay, and the night isn't so bad for a Sunday.
Unfortunatly there is work tomorrow, and I've got a bit to get done. With a variety of issues that appeared nationally last Friday (promise it wasn't me) there is now quite a bit of pressure to get the platforms upgraded - and I'm responsible for that at the moment. Yay. For the next two days at least :)..
In today's news, went for a crazy run this morning as soon as I woke up - crazy because I pushed myself too hard up the hills that are around here. Had to stop for the dizziness. But I'm glad to be getting out and exercising more often - it has been far too long and it's going to take a good half year of runs and gym to get me back where i was. Time to get into some more routines I think - and time to do some things for myself too :)
The rest of the day has been a mix of interesting. The Sunday went all too fast for me, and I'm no further along my lil quest to understand myself better, now there is a little more to add to the mix :).. which is all good.
Anyone know anyone near Sydney? I'm thinking of going up to Newcastle for the weekend to look around the place - at the moment it's not clear whether I'm wanted in Sydney or Melbourne. I don't mind at the moment, seeing it is likely to be only a little more than a year assignment.
Till next time, laters :) |
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| Tiggie |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|09:34 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | grateful | ] |
So,
Worth rearing up on hind paws n saying hi.
Or something like that :P, I might be a little too lazy :)
Yeah, remember all - this is just somewhere for tigger randomness, and at the moment the real-life Ashkit is demanding to sneak in under the covers n to curl up under my feet. But, my ass must stink or something, becuase now he is balancing himself up on the headboard n doing leaps to the end of the bed.
Life is a funny thing - but, positives are important. In the news today, well, I'm off to Sydney next week for a week to look at a new job. This'll be pretty snaz.. I need a change of pace as we [the company] flounder. $2.3b deals open up a variety of opportunities, so I got the nod and need to take a look at things over there. Not sure whether it will be Sydney or Melbourne, but either way - something new is good. The sound of things I'll probably be there for a year and then off to HK or Taiwan.
Christmas is rapidly approaching, and life here seems to be winding down. The weather is starting to warm up a little, but here in Wellington it is nothing like Christchurch with the hot nor-westerlies to make sure we all knew that time of year had come. I am definatly missing the warmer clime.
I know to many I've been hiding somewhat, keeping a lot of things inside. That's just my hypocritical way of dealing with my challenges when they get a little too hard. As much as I wish I didn't - sometimes I do give up on things and revert back to the ones I know, or those that provide normaility - things like going to work every day and focusing a little more on that.
With so many things up in the air, I'm not sure where I'll be early next year. Wellington is ready to let me go, the question of where to next is an important one.
By the way, before I do head out.. if anyone is skilled in telecommunications engineering and would be interested in a move to New Zealand, pop me a comment. There are plenty of interesting opportunities here. For me it is time to move on to bigger things :)
Thank you to two people who have been helping me out - my kitten, who is trying his hardest not to kill me!, and an unlikely friend in the UK that knows who he is.
I've been talking to some interesting folk over the last few weeks in an effort to escape from things - and I have realised that the best people are around me already. I'm finding new buds around the place too, but I'm sometimes too confusing for even me to figure out.
Finally, I know some of you want to help.. you can very easily, say hi :).. some of you can help me better by just talking to me directly than any other way - some of you I miss terribly and wish I had never lost ya from my life, and I regret the things that happened that may have ended us up where we are today. My little attempts to say hi back are my way of trying to let you know those things, that I appreciate it, and I hope to help you out someday too.
The Internet is the best and worst thing - it brings a group of people I would never have met to me from day to day and across thousands of miles, but it also pulls me into it, and sometimes makes me forget the wonderful things that I have around me.
I keep a little part of each one of you with me :)
-tigger |
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| It's hailing |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|10:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cold | ] |
It's cold and miserable and I'm sick :P It has started hailing and tonight when we went shopping, the lightening was pretty wicked. It's a lil above freezing, and Ashkit is inside warming up.
Today was spent being lazy in bed all day :) Gotta do the lawns sometime, but with the weather being how it is, who knows. More of the same tomorrow (lazing around that is). Tomorrow we catching up with Rhi for dinner - will be good to get outa the house.
Anyway, gonna warm up :) stay warm all
-tig |
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| People |
[Mar. 20th, 2005|01:10 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
I've been thinking a lot lately, about this concept we have of honesty and integrity. Sometimes I sit back and wonder what's going on with the world when we structure our lives around deceit and rumour, be it at work, in politics, in friendships or in bed.
Why do we do it? :P A lil lie here, a bit of misleading there.. and we end up digging ourselves a hole that is too big to handle.. then it gets seriously deep and gumboots come out :D
Okay.. what's happened you are asking... hah :P.. was just about to say "nuffin".. but that'd be a lie :) I've just found out that someone who was supposedly honest with me a while back was actually bullshitting me left-right and centre, and pretending to be a friend. Perhaps my definition of friend is a lil wacky, but a friendship extends beyond the times the other person is physically around.
So hey, try this out for me... be honest to someone today. Tell someone something you knew you should have, but were scared to tell them cause they might get hurt. Be honest if you feel like you cant stand someone, and dont bullshit to their face cause ya trying to be the nice guy to everyone. Don't hide your true feelings about things that go on day in and day out, otherwise things will come to a head, and you'll have to make a habbit of lying bout it and everything else.
So :).. tigger-lesson for the day... honesty is a good virtue to have, and it is larger than just "telling the truth".. sometimes you need to ask yourself the hard questions, and get those answers and see what they honestly mean to you. Being honest to yourself is a big part of growing up, and once you've mastered this lil art you can start being honest to others. I mean, really... how much "harm" is it to tell the truth, chances are that person will find out one way or another, and then they can be justifibly pissed off at ya :P
There are so many better things to be doing in our lives than worrying about when our lies will be seen through, or how much someone likes us and how we need to prop ourselevs up to make us look a lil better. The people that will really matter in ya life will make their own decisions about you, "worts and all" as it goes, ya don't need to puff our ya chest n look like something you're not. If someone needs to be fed stories to keep them "on your side", then what is the point of even interacting with them - if you know they would rather avoid you if they knew the truth, why talk to them?
Blah :)... thinking about these kind of things is always a good idea... dont sit on ya asses and think all the time about work, money, and who to fuck next... think about you, and who you want to be, who you want people to see you as. If your conclusion requires you to bullshit about who you are so they may think of ya better... you're off target... for we revere the humble the most, the hero who doesn't seek reward, the father that shows compassion to his son, the teacher that shows passion for his lessons, and you and I, who cry when we see others hurt. We may wish to be remembered as powerful people, with large amounts of money or fame... but the respect we will hold in such titles will be out of fear, not true admiration.
So, what do you want to be when you grow up.. or perhaps , more correctly, how do you want to be remembered when you're no longer here... and not by the world, but by your closest friends.
(its after midnight, i get funny after midnight :), oh.. and im not depressed or crap... sometimes reflection is good and sometimes not so good.. this time it was the latter :P )
-tig |
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| The beach |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|07:59 pm] |
I like the beach :).. its fun.. this was a photo from a while back when we were running around the hot sand without shoes on.
-tig
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| On a bus |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|05:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lethargic | ] |
Instead of writing hugely long entries (and kicking myself for not updating in ages) i think i will try with many short ones.
Right now i'm sitting on a bus in Wellington traffic, going real damn slow... heading home to Snix who has had himself another day down at the vet. Im envious of that lil bugger for being there, cause some of you might not know I was studying bio to go into vet in uni... but then the whole telco work started. oh well, cant complain about the money!
Lets see... this weekend Daniel moved out - mixed feelings, cept to say that right now any friendship is going to be starting over.. bugger eh? Ossy also was returned on Monday after i suffered 5 hours of work from 3am on sunday.
Oh, Sunday was my birthday! :) Tigger is now 24.... and i still got it, so no smart ass remarks.
Work is busy, i doing lots of things there which are a good if constant challenge.. and i have a job offer in Brisbane i might need to consider too. Warm sun souns good, but uni looks shitloads harder to get in to there, dont want snix (or me) to have difficulty getting into uni if that is what we want.
Anyway, bout home.. so spot ya all around
-love tig |
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| Equilibrium |
[Jan. 16th, 2005|01:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Isn't it funny how our lives are peppered with the good and the "interesting" :) Last couple of days have been great fun - Tigger is learning to rollerblade, and what a laugh that first was. Snix, as sweet as he is, breezed past like a pro and kinda left me near the rental place while he dropped some stuff back at the car. Tigger was trying his hardest not to kinda whimper as he was sure he was to fall. But, hey... it turned out to be good fun - in fact, went and did it again this afternoon :) It is kinda like ice skating, but balance seems to be harder, as i tend to shift my weight too far backwards. It has been like 10 years since I ice skated, but it is starting to come back ( I think I do prefer Ice skating though).
In other news (the interesting stuff), someone I still care for and wish all the best seems to be moving on. Ya know at weddings and crap like that when people cry the "happy tears" - well, they aren't happy, they are in fact sad. Sad to know they are soon to miss certain things, or realise that they have already lost it, and while they don't feel any animosity towards anyone for it, they certainly cant help but shed a few sad tears. Back to my story, yah.. this person seems like they are happy - perhaps happier than I did and very likely could ever make em. This is all good by the way, :)... i mean, when ya care for someone and you're not fighting for them, its the best possible outcome. ANyway, that is my lil mopy bit of the weekend :P - things will be different yet again from now forward.
But, hey.. .Tigger feels great... well, other than a nasty bug that I have! This damn thing comes and goes, and when it comes it makes me shiver and freeze and then burn up and ache.... fucking ass. ANyway, test results tomorrow.. was told to take Friday off work cause of it, so I quite happily agreed. :P Who am I to argue ;)
It has been good to have a quiet house (*grin*) this weekend, been able to just chill and sleep in, or go out n walk or drive, or whatever we want. I think it must really be one of the first weekends where something hasn't been happening or someone hasn't been around.
I guess the only true "bad" news of the weekend is that it is about to end. In a few hours it will be Monday and I will be back at work. It pains me to know that I have to spend a good 8 hours away from the Kitten, but he has this habbit of sleeping through most of said day anyway. I think there are a few things on the 'list' that will keep him busy :).. I can see he wants to get his tail up and outa the house too - and I have no doubt he'll get what he wants :) (not that he _always_ does ;)
So yah, first week back at work has been quiet, it's ramping up but these next 3 months are mine, so I'm not too worried. I am also much less concerned with people at work. Whereas I use to worry a lil too much about how people were getting along, now I'm just all smiles - I'm a new tigger, and one I am still learning about and liking a lot :P.. hey.. it's all fun, and it is just beginning :P
Now, with the somewhat sharp taste of Absolut Kurant in me muzzle, I'll dash :) a few things to do before the night is over, or do again as the case may be =p life is good, keep smiling, and know some people will always look out for ya
oh, final note - watched "10 Things I Hate About You" - it awas great :).. esp when ya watching it with someone ya love :)
-tig |
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| G'day World :) |
[Jan. 8th, 2005|07:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
Yes, I do exist after all :P
So, lets see what has happened in my life over the last four months:
Life got complicated at home - things got to the point where i didn't want to try in a relationship anymore. I kinda had thought that trying really hard to make things work was just part and parcel of any and every "normal" relationship, but I thought it best we go our seperate ways. About 3 months ago I moved into the spare bedroom, and no turning back from there. The strage thing is that right now I still live with him, which has got very interesting and perhaps a little stupid on my part of late. But let the story continue :)
So, here I was ... kinda winding down, not doing too shit hot at work at all. Paul (one of my workmates) had picked up on this and I had kinda told him the bad news - I was just really really bumed about everything. In fact, there was one day where I was not talking to anyone - literally. Even one of my ex-friends (not friends of my ex) Teong noticed - I still wish he would talk to me about whatever I did to fuck him off - I think he reakons I accept too much praise, I think he really needs to accept the praise he gets, cause he pulls an awesome effort. Oh well. So.... back to story, yes.. pretty nasty feeling.. just wanted to and many times did curl up in bed with the kitten and the lappie, how sad :P
Right... well.. lets see.. anyway, I went down to meet up with some friends in sunny Dunedin. And I met someone. Wow. Friday, November 26 2004 - the day my life changed - the day I realised I knew nothing of who I really was and just for fun, got to start all over. :P I was a bold Tig when I asked him out, even more bold when I stole a kiss. Three days later, I knew. So, now it has been a lil over a month, :)... we'll see what happens, I don't need high hopes because I of how things feel. There has never been someone who I have rolled around in the grass at the park with, skipped down the street with, or smiled so much about at the tought of them.
We both caught up with our families over Christmas - oh yes... and I got to meet his family :P... Um, un-announced :D... woo :P? So.. I think when we got off the plane in Auckland it was something along the lines of "Dad, This is David".. *blink* :P.. That wasn't too bad, he dropped me off at work cause I was just coming up for a work thing - and I got to meet his mum, which was nice. I have heaps of respect for mothers, they have to put up with our shit for a fucklong time... a lifetime in fact, and most of them love us dearly and have to find ways of dealing with our raving hormones, or bitchiness. So, yes, I went to Brisbane for Christmas - it was WARM. Thank GOD.. Wellington is currently 16 degrees C, and it is the Middle of summer. This blows. So, in some ways that was my lil evaluation of Brisbane. We have an office there, so I might see about a transfer for 3 months (all expenses paid), but that's up to what my new Kit wants to do - for I really dont want people to move because of me because of what happened last time. I don't have any concerns where I am at the moment, career is fine.. so I'm going to be spending that time with someone I want to be, rather than at work.
Anyway, all through this holiday my mind was elsewhere... it was in Auckland, and I was in Brisbane. So, I got a flight early (without telling anyone) and drove to Auckland. His mum was a lil suprised to see me on her doorstep at 9:30am, and my Kit, he was lost for words (that and he sleeps like you wouldnt believe - he is a cat - so was likely still semi-sleeping).
So, that's basically life for me right now.. things are complicated at home... my ex still lives with me... and.. .my Kit lives here too now.... ....... Holy Crap, can we talk "flash-backs". Fuck I'm not going to let that happen. I have no idea how, but Fox is managing.. I can imagine its real hard for him.. but I think he has found someone who he feels he could move on with, so that's prolly happily distracting him.
I feel like now I've got the update outa the way, I can dribble about other shite:
Oh, I introduced the Kit to Dawat Butter Chicken - he loves it :).. I have done my good for humanity. It must be the best Butter Chicken in the world - if anyone cares, Dawat in Wellington New Zealand :)
Talking about humanity, this Tsunami in Indonesia - got me thinking about how I would like to be deployed out somewhere developing or in crisis to sort things out. I doubt my new employer would feel like doing something like that - they are French after all :P Everyone that reads this should do what they can to help, be it in cash, clothing, or if you cant.. be nice to someone, help someone. Heh, Give someone on the street with a grumpy face a chocolate and tell them to cheer up :D
We'll see how life goes :).. 2005 is going to be fun :).. I'm going to make sure of it. It's kinda fun to know you are changing, but scarey not to know who you are, watching yourself like others do - its wierd, fucking scares shit outa me. But, I like the person that is coming out :) And I love the person who is helping me :)
Spot you all around soon, I have two kittens to tend to :)
-tig |
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[Aug. 3rd, 2004|07:05 pm] |
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Right,
I don't really get around to updating this anywhere near often enough!
So, let's see. I was offered a job as Product Development Mangager. Sounded really hot - tigg moving into marketing and all.. but what would the techie inside say! *sniff* that i dont know.
Anyway, they were talking about a nice wad of cash.. so.. i thought and i thought, and then i thought "why am i thinking!?" its a shiteload of money. Anyway, talked with Eric (my current boss) and he was like begging me to stay. He also said the company has me lined up for a manager in the tech space, and they are dead keen to get me going in their management programme. This really took me by suprise - he asked that I talk to the country manager about things and give the company I'm with one year to make things right.
I accepted. And I havn't even asked for more pay (yet)...... *i must be nuts*.
So, turned down the money for a job that is stressful and hard - but the crew is great. With any luck we can develop further, and I'm sure we can. I feel the manager in me sneaking out all the time (and it's not just an excuse to do less work!) :D :).. oh well :)
I'm still a kitten at heart, growing up quickly.
I have also been thinking a lot about the Green card that will expire mid-september. Ahh, I feel old. I look to the US like a big melting-pot of interesting times, people and fun. Perhaps too much of "the grass is greener" syndrome. Probably. I'd like to give this a shot. I think staying in NZ for another year or so will do me good, give me time to enjoy the roses and explore this place.
Which leads me onto relationships. God, they are hard :(. I am internally conflicted every waking moment about what to do. Sometimes I relax, but I always find myself antsy when around Fox.. I don't mean to be, thought I know sometimes I do it purposefully. I havn't figured out whether this is some kind of defence mechanism, some last ditch effort to find what ever I am looking for in him (say what!?! :P ) or whether I am truely tired of the relationship and want something different. Thing is, there is nothing remotely interesting here - not that I look too hard. Sometimes I wish I could just find that perfect someone, but hey.. do they exist, and would they be so perfect once I got them. I don't know just yet - I am young, time will tell , just enjoy and play :)
Well, my train of thought sure does jump around... the car.
RIGHT, first tank of petrol.. here are the stats! :D
34.22L in @ $1.189/L.
Drove 654.4km on the tank as it was. So far, 32km and I'm getting 4.9km/100L (accepting it is the middle of winter and I basically live up a mountain) :)
Okay.. what else. OOOH! I'm decorating the house :). got all my paint swatches here, so I'm gonna paint up the two bedrooms, study, hall and living room. Most have wallpaper so that is coming off :). Landlady is loaded and she wants us to make this place a great place to live, and is willing to spend some money doing it up (it needs it in some places)... so as soon as it warms up tiggers paintin :)
Looking forward to it! :)
Anyway, Fox has a friend of his from uni coming over tomorrow from the US. She is a lesbian! :D.. hmm :).. they are gonna run off together for like 4 days without me *sniff* and I'm kinda bitter about it... oh well.. relationships huh.
Enough random shit :)
-tiggs |
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